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November 24th, 2009
05:25 pm
I went to the ER last night because my hip has been killing me and I can barely walk now. I guess I have bursitis of the hip. Hey, at least nothing's broken. I was scared about a fracture for a while because I have been doing some ice skating and I've fallen on my hip. Maybe that's how the bursitis started.
Anyways, I have to use a cane for a while. Canes tend to be an elderly type of prop, but I will make my cane really cool. I intend on carving into it and making faces and words in it. I start physical therapy next week, so I might only have to use a cane for a week, maybe.
Other than that, work is going great. I have to make an indoor air quality inspector training program. This means I make a curriculum, tests, powerpoint lectures, maybe even some homework? I'm just really excited for this! I've kinda started thinking I would be a good science teacher for junior high or highschool. I just haven't taken any education classes yet. This would at least help me get a bit more in teacher planning mode for experience. Hopefully it'll work out well.
~Tina~
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September 6th, 2009
11:31 pm
Two butterflies went out at noon
And waltzed above a stream,
Then stepped straight through the firmament
And rested on a beam;
And then together bore away
Upon a shining sea,--
Though never yet, in any port
Their coming mentioned be.
If spoken by the distant bird,
If met in ether sea
By frigate or by merchantman,
Report was not to me.
~Emily Dickinson
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August 31st, 2009
11:27 pm
Every time I have to go to the ER it freaks me out. I was actually taking shea, my love, to the hospital last night finding out out she had a ruptured ovarian cyst. But in the mean time, I forgot to bring my medicine and then had my own muscle spasm attack right in the hospital. They had no rooms, so I laid on the ground spasming for a long time... My insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions, so my friend went to the financial advisor in the hospital to see what coujld be done for me. Nonetheless, I had to be admitted and was put on a shitload of drugs.
I'm taking steroids right now for scabies (ewww, right?) and that's what's making my body freak out so much lately... I just hope I can make up my work. I'm so behind..
Besides that, my life is great. Shea is the best thing ever that has come into my life. I love her.
As with my job, its wonderful and all the people there are wonderful.
Goodnight.
~Tina~
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August 17th, 2009
10:05 pm
It's going to be....odd to say the least if I ever see Dan Michaud again.
He was brought up in conversation today. I feel quite odd.
I feel like I will always be a shadow.
~Tina~
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August 10th, 2009
10:50 pm
I'm finding myself stuck between two people.
I'm in between two rocks.
Should I just try to land on one of the rocks
Is that even possible?
Or should I just flow through and find a beach?
Shea is.. wonderful. I forgot what its like to be with a woman. its gentle. the communication and approach to communication is different. Ways for jealousy to form are different. But... I like it. I started officially going out with her last week and I don't regret it.
I do... still love Nathan, though. There shouldn't be a "though", but its complicated... I mean... if I didn't move to Iowa I would be with him. We were in love... are in love... but circumstances don't allow it and that's just the way it is. He wouldn't commit to me and I had to adjust my life and open my emotions and love to other people who were able to commit to me like Shea. I am stuck in the middle right now, but I'm slowly transitioning to put shea as my priority.
Nathan's coming to visit me in a week and a half. I don't know how to deal with it because... I do still love him. I can't kiss him like I did the last time I saw him because I'm with Shea. Shea told me that she is preparing herself to purposely not expect anyhting when he comes so if I am intimate with him she won't care or something... I dont' know.. both of them are EXTREMELY understanding and I love them both.
I should go to sleep.
~Tina~
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04:07 pm
I'm having alot of trouble with a topic at work. I have to make 10 posters on the top ten greatest achievements in public health for the 20th century. Right now I'm stuck on Fluoridation of drinking water. Supposedly its the number 9 greatest achievement.
Supposedly...
But then I am researching and there is such a debate between the pros and cons. Ever since 1997, cons have started coming out... getting published. Perhaps the idea was good initially, but they're putting too much fluoride into the drinking water? Now there is dental fluorosis which comes because of the levels of fluoride we're being exposed to. I guess the US is starting to put it in table salt too?
I know I know... it helps most people stay away from the dentist. The rate of cavities have gone down and because its all through the water its not economically or behaviorally biased to who it reaches... blah blah. I just see all these negative factors online. I need to find scholarly articles that make it all happy and go lucky for me to make a damn poster about how its so great.
"Despite the substantial decline in the prevalence and severity of dental caries in the United States during the 20th century, this largely preventable disease is still common. National data indicate that 67% of persons aged 12-17 years and 94% of persons aged  18 years have experienced caries in their permanent teeth." This quote was from a scholarly article (JAMA Vol. 283 No. 10, March 8, 2000) and it still shows that maybe fluoridation in the water isn't the neccessary action.
I found a really bias guy that isn't scientific at all, but I really like how he talks: "Water fluoridation is a peculiarly American phenomenon. It started at a time when Asbestos lined our pipes, lead was added to gasoline, PCBs filled our transformers and DDT was deemed so "safe and effective" that officials felt no qualms spraying kids in school classrooms and seated at picnic tables. One by one all these chemicals have been banned, but fluoridation remains untouched."
It seems like the Public health department I work for right now is pretty much just trying to reverse the effects of that "time" that the guy in the above quote spoke of. I'm doing indoor air quality inspections saying "yes... that's asbestos wrapped around your pipe... you should remove that for your future health. yes, your paint is made out of lead on your house... this is how you properly remove it. "
hmmm....
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July 20th, 2009
12:08 am
Tonight, I can't sleep...
I found out that Allan has lymphoma cancer and is going through chemo. I haven't talked to him much since we decided going out wouldn't work, but I decided we should reconnect. He sounds like he's doing really well in life besides the medical problems, but sometimes its hard to ignore the medical problems. When a doctor gives you a percentage of who dies in this situation vs. who lives.. its difficult to not think about. I guess he's lucky they caught it early and that its growing crazy fast. Growing fast gives a good chance the chemo will work? Meep.. I don't know. Its keeping me up.. wondering about things in life and after life.
I also wanted to briefly talk about my love life. I seem to have not really mentioned Nathan in here yet. I actually think that's a good thing. I usually talk about relationships in here if they are unstabling amazing or unstably horrific. With nathan, its just... stable. Its pleasant, loving, plenty of communication, understanding, circumstantial, life growing, and inspiring. I have alot to learn from nathan and he has alot to learn from me. The only thing is that we're not technically together. Because I'm in Iowa and he's in Massachussetts, we're not putting that commitment out there. Every now and then I get upset about that fact, but I do know he loves me and I do like having the "freedom" and not needing to be monogamous yet when I know that physically I won't feel satisfied when I'm 1400 miles away. I know, though, that I do want to be with him when I get back. He's all positives in my mind, even with the christianity issue... but that's for another day.
Writing on the universe,
~Christina~
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July 18th, 2009
07:41 am
I really need to sit down and write a decent entry in here. I think that would be good for me. There has just been so much going on in life with trying to gain friends and do well at work and stay social and sleep enough and eat enough and have enough me time.
I got home from a club at 3:15am and now its 7:30am and I'm off painting for BRIGHTEN. Its a volunteer day where everyone in the city goes out and helps get their houses up to code. I'm just glad painting doesn't require brainpower because I have none of that right now!
~Tina~
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July 13th, 2009
June 26th, 2009
06:35 pm
Right now, my work is alot more direct service than I thought we were allowed.
What I have done in the last 3 days:
Monitor Mosquito population in 4 sites around Cedar Rapids
Take blood samples from chickens in the 4 sites also
Do outdoor inspections to look for standing/pooling water from people who complain about mosquito populations
Check out complaints about rodents, feral cats, or any other wild animal that causes a threat for disease in the area
Check out indoor air quality inspections for mold, radon, and carbon monoxide.
Start researching for a grant on funding the indoor air quality division to help with asthma problems
made a powerpoint on Flood Preparation, Response, and Recovery
Attended a Board of Health meeting and CHAMP meeting assessing funding for asthma programs in Iowa.
Lots of stuff, HUH?!!!!
Now I just need to get focused on the most important things... or I'll just keep doing random projects
~Christina~
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June 22nd, 2009
05:46 pm
How is it even possible that I'm already getting asked to go on a date to see canyons on saturday with the most beautiful woman in the world? How did the kiss happen? How did I fly into this fantasy land?
She's so... wonderful.
We'll see... let this new one rollllll.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note, I had my on site training today and it was boringggggg, but I'm almost done! Soon I can dig right into the public health system and make people happier! But the happiness is of course EXTREMELY indirect and I probably won't see any appreciation, but that's why peeps become VISTA's, right? hehe...he...hehehe....uhh... yeah.. I know I'll be making lots of databases and...I like doing that... so that's good?
so....Iowa is really cool about gluten free foods in their chain store called HY VEE. They even have this shipping availability where if you can't find a food that you want, you can order it and they will have it in their store a week later just for you! How cool and accomadating for Tina is that?! Like whoa, dude.
I'm totally writing like how I speak right now. Sometimes improper writing is fun, though, and that's what livejournal is to me; a way of expressing myself without grammatically correct needs.
I like pomegranites!
I also went storm chasing last night and was legitly scared, but yet...I want to do it again.
Sincerely,
~Tina~
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June 17th, 2009
10:07 pm
VISTA people at PSO are crazy. Does that mean I am crazy too?
:/
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June 15th, 2009
01:01 pm
The department of human resources are so nice...
They realized I needed food stamps like...now. When I got accepted and found out that the card will come in the mail within the week, I was so relieved! I got back home as soon as possible and paid a bill that was 6 months late. Once I sent it into the mail, I cried. It was an odd feeling. I'm not sure if I cried because of happiness because that hospital bill won't affect my credit anymore or if its because I knew I was irresponsible by dancing alot for the past 6 months instead of saving so I could afford the bill in the first place...
All I know is that I still owe 800 dollars to the hospital and I still can't afford that right now. Its just really overwhelming to the point where you stop opening the bills because you just... don't want to know.
~Tina~
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June 12th, 2009
03:56 pm
Things to do:
Find a place to print papers needed for PSO
Go to post office and change mailing address (find post office)
Go to Filming to be an extra for a movie Sunday 6am.
Go to the Human Resources Interview to get food stamps on monday.
Pack on monday.
Go to PSO for Indianapolis Tuesday: Flight leaving 6:30 am.
Possibly find other vista's to carpool to airport?
Figure out what E-airline tickets means.
Go back to library once mailing address is secure so I can have a permanent library card instead of a temporary one.
Try and find a place that sells gluten free foods.
~Tina~
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June 11th, 2009
02:42 pm
Cedar Rapids, first look, seems really friendly. I hope it stays that way! I live in a 6 apartment complex and my next door neighbors teach violin and cello, so I get to hear that all the time. I'm actually quite a fan. My new roomate is the assistant manager to a movie theatre. She's saving up to be able to go to college and is only 19, but she seems really friendly. However, she works ALL THE TIME. I doubt that I will see her much. She said I can go watch movies for free at the theatre whenever I wanted, though *smile*.
My main problem has been internet. As you can see, I have it right now and I am in my apartment, but its only because I have a long 50ft ethernet cable extending into the living room, which disrupts the quaintness of the place. There's WIFI, but no matter what I do... I've tried 2 different wireless cards which are supposed to work with my computer and just... don't. So I think I'll just scarcely use the internet and do the plugging and unplugging of long ethernet cord while said roomate is at work and doesn't care about the cord ruining the apartment look.
My job isn't going to start until June 16th. Actually... it doesn't start until the 22nd, but I'm going to a pre service orientation June 16th. I got the online tickets and am all ready. Now I jsut have to learn my place around town for the next week and apply for food stamps because I am very poor. Until I get food stamps, it will be rice and beans for a while.
I didn't bring any books, so the first thing I looked for on the map was the library. I intend on going there today and getting a membership because I really want to be able to get lots of books read this year.
What else... I have this love life that started over in Massachusetts and I haven't figured out how to deal with Nathan. Whenever we talk on the phone, I just get sad. I need to find fun things to do on the phone so even if we don't commit ourselves to each other, I can have a pleasant friendship with him that will still exist once I get back there next summer. Nathan's a sweet heart...
Sincerely,
~Tina~
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June 7th, 2009
01:07 pm
For more of a personal way I am feeling... archive back to how I felt March 15th 2006, first entry. I relatively feel like that right now.
By the way, I really really REALLY want pen pals.
My address will be:
3730 12th ave. SW Apt. #5
Cedar Rapids, IA.
I'm not quite sure of the zip code? I'll update that later.
Sincerely,
~Tina~
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11:47 am - Starting Americorps
Basically, I'm moving to Iowa tomorrow. I think it just hit me today. I mean... its been hitting me for the past couple of weeks by saying goodbye to friends, but today I started thinking about all these questions I feel I need to ask my vista buddy. Today I actually have to map out how I'm going to drive to Iowa... where I'm going to stop on the way.. will I like my roomate.. how much corn is alot of corn? Will I be too shy? Will I really be able to do my job? What exactly is my job anyways? So yes... lots of questions have begun freaking my brain out. This is a major change for me. A change I need.
Also, I think I'm nervous because it wasn't until YESTERDAY that I got my still very vague job description for VISTA.
Responsibilities: - Partner with the Health Department to gather accurate and comprehensive information on the health affects of those who worked in the flood zone.
- Attain information of low/no-cost health care available in our area.
- Develop a medium to disperse information to appropriate members of the community.
My job seems to have less responsibilities than the other VISTAs, but perhaps it will need to go in more depth than the others? Still.. I will find out significantly more soon enough. I start my on-site training June 20th and my Pre-service Orientation (In Indianapolis!! yay!) June 16-19, so I will learn more than. For now, I wait in the world of vagueness. Is that just... how it works in Americorps?
Sincerely,
~Tina~
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May 16th, 2009
01:14 pm
Not having internet available will be interesting and it starts now.
I'm still in Plymouth, but I dont have internet at my house and now the school is shut down so I have to use the public library. I was going to write something large about my friends graduating and everyone diverging into their own vector path, but the librarian says I need to get off because I'm a "guest". I wonder if it will be like this at Cedar Rapids. I'm leaving for Iowa June 8th and hope to catch up on seeing people that I havent seen in a long time. I seem to feel the need to stay connected with people quite eagerly with this move. It may be because I don't know if I'll return to the east coast after the year in Americorps or not. I just... don't know. That's what's scaring me so much. I've made so many good friends on the east coast....
okay.. gotta go.
~Tina~
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May 7th, 2009
06:21 am
"Character comes from following our highest sense of right, from trusting ideals without being sure they'll work. One challenge of our adventure on earth is to rise above dead systems -- wars, religions, nations, destructions -- to refuse to be a part of them, and express instead the highest selves we know how to be. "
This comes from the book "One", by Richard Bach. I would like to read it again sometime....if I can find it.
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06:00 am
I wonder what has happened to me. When I was young, I would live at my parent's house and creep down into the basement. There would be foreign books, philosophy books, science books, hundred of national geographic magazines, different atlases and maps, and many hard covered books full of photography because my father used to be into that for a while.
I just returned to Brunswick again.. looking around for things because I'm moving to Iowa and need to know what to bring there. I realized though, how I don't get inspired with the things in the basement anymore. Was it a youthful education curiosity that just can't exist anymore, or is it something else? Really... what captures my eye now a days? How often do I see a book and just sit down and read it without thinking about a boy or my future or having to be late for work? I can't focus on fun inspiration like I used to. Maybe I need to work on that.
I did look down there and see pictionary, boulderdash, boggle, scatigories, scrabble, monopoly, and get to the head of the class. I need to buy games for myself, because I really am a board games type of person. I don't enjoy drinking parties, unless it involves board games, and I enjoy thinking as part of fun and socializing. That's why I like the contradancing people so much. Bringing chess and Go to Uno's is just so amazing. I hope I can' find such friends out in Iowa, but those people in which I speak of can never be replaced in my heart *smile*.
In anycase... I realized how much I miss the book Jonathan Livington Seagull and I think I may read it again. I mean.. it was my favorite book for a few years and all.
Sincerely,
~Christina~
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